Don't Raid The Beeves
Last night, I finished cramming in a re-reading of The Odyssey in advance of seeing the movie tonight. The translation was done in the 60's by Robert Fitzgerald, and has a great balance between modern readability and the lofty blank verse style deserved by the epic text.
Overall, I came away impressed. However, one word kept popping up, and I found it hilarious:
"Beeves"
In nine instances, herds of cattle are described using this antique plural for "beef." I don't know why this tickled me so much, but it did:
Book II:
No; these men spend their days around our house killing our beeves and sheep and fatted goats, carousing, soaking up our good dark wine, not caring what they do.
Book XI & XII:
But if you raid the beeves, I see destruction for ship and crew.
Book XII:
The silken beeves of Hêlios were dead.
Book XIV:
Not a day goes by, and not a night comes under Zeus, but they make butchery of our beeves and swine— not one or two beasts at a time, either.
Book XVII:
But these men spend their days around our house killing our beeves, our fat goats and our sheep, carousing, drinking up our good dark wine; sparing nothing, squandering everything.
Book XVIII;
Others who go to court a gentlewoman, daughter of a rich house, if they are rivals, bring their own beeves and sheep along; her friends ought to be feasted, gifts are due to her; would any dare to live at her expense?
Book XIX:
So I played host and took Odysseus home, saw him well lodged and fed, for we had plenty;
then I made requisitions—barley, wine, and beeves for sacrifice—to give his company abundant fare along with him.
Book XX:
But new men tell me I must bring my beeves to feed them, who care nothing for our prince, fear nothing from the watchful gods.
The phrase "raid the beeves" particularly amuses me. Given the context (Odysseus's hungry shipmates disobey orders and butcher the Sun God's cattle, resulting in their deaths and Odysseus's decade of exile) the phrase sounds like it should be an idiom for an unforced error that gets in your own way:
"I wanted to go to that concert, but I didn't have the funds after raiding the beeves on Amazon1."
Or:
"I'd better not raid the snack beeves today. I want to leave room to eat like a teenager at the potluck tomorrow2."